Very Much Not the Olympics

 

 

AnElephantCant be bothered with this nonsense
He thinks he’ll just ignore it himself
It is totally absurd
With a list of banned words
Like London Summer Olympic Games 2012

 

Yes these words are all quite forbidden
By the chaps who promote sporting excellence
McDonalds and Coke
BP and the folk
From Cadbury’s – gosh now it makes sense

 

 

AnElephantCant explain how much better
Is the whole scene at the Cowal Highland Gathering
Marching Pipe Bands
And a whiff of romance
As bonnie lassies dance a wee fling that’s enchanting

 

He enjoys a quick jig at the ceilidh
He finds that a pibroch enriches
He won’t misbehave
His heart must stay Brave
When he gets eaten alive by the midges

 

AnElephantCant toss the caber
Though he can pick up the trunk in his trunk
But wouldn’t you know it
When he tries to throw it
It lands on his tootsies with a clunk

 

 

The Sassenach Bearded Ladies Ensemble
Should be avoided unless you have great courage
These girls can fight they can run
They crush boulders for fun
And they play water polo with crocodiles in porridge

 

AnElephantCant hurl a haggis
He thinks that is not very sociable
They land in the mud
With a squelch and a thud
He just hopes the wee beasties are washable

 

 

Perhaps he can try free style wrestling
He would make use of his incredible bulk
To squash the opposition
A quick demolition
Then he could take on The Incredible Hulk

 

AnElephantCant win Highland Games trophies
Although clearly he is rather well built
He is not too athletic
But please be sympathetic
Because he looks jolly good in a kilt!