Spurious Apostrophe Donation Society (SADS)

Now, your favourite Elephant is a fairly affable, easy-going sort of chap, rarely irate, seldom irritated, more adagio than agitato.

But some things do get under his dermatic exterior.

Read on.

AnElephantCant get the confusion
With apostrophes – why where and when
So let us set out a few simple rules
So they are never misused ever again

An apostrophe lets you know something is missing
Let’s all be quite clear about that
It also indicates the possessive
Cat’s pyjamas are the pyjamas of Cat

No apostrophe in a possessive pronoun
Yours ours his hers or its
But you will see it’s appearing in this word
To show that the ‘i’ is missing from ‘is’

Now you do have to understand one thing
We’ll make it as big and as clear as a mural
An apostrophe can be used for a good many things
But it is never to be used in a plural

Now there may well be pedants among you
Who question this extraordinary rant
When there is clearly an apostrophe missing
Which just proves that AnElephantCant

This sign has four apostrophes.

The first is correct, the second may be, depending on how many princes there are (and whether the street is his/theirs), but the last two, THE LAST TWO JUST BUG THE HELL OUT OF THE ELEPHANT!

Sorry for shouting.