Animal Vegetable or Minstrel?

AnElephantCant always be serious
Some animals just make him laugh
A wee chunky donkey
A wild funky monkey
And there is nothing half as daft as a giraffe

The kangaroo and alpaca amuse us
Orang-utans have us holding our sides
Hyena and zebra
Make us ho ho and ha ha
Duck-billed platypuses make tears flow like the Clyde

Many creatures are strange and astounding
Like T Rex – or iguanas now
But the one we like best
Betterer than the rest
Is the amazing fantabulous magical mythical hipporhinocerocow

Yep this is definitely AnElephant’s favourite
Although we’re not really sure how to spell it
It looks like it sounds
Kinda squarish and round
It eats curry oh boy you should smell it

AnElephant likes pythons and alligators
And doggies and bunnies and geeses
But it has to be said
This Elephant is afraid
That he really hates meeces to pieces

We enjoy almost all nature’s creatures
Golden eagles and magpies and budgies
Wallabies and springboks
Our pal Phil the Fox
But we’re no awfy keen on yon midges

It’s true hedgehogs and camels confuse us
Armadillos make us wrinkle our brow
We understand bats
Rats wombats and cats
And the amazing fantabulous magical mythical hipporhinocerocow

Is it proper to say hippopotamuses
Or hippopotami do you suppose?
We think it is easier
And to the ear pleasier
To say more than one hippo is hippos

The same thing applies to rhinoceri
Should this be pronounced rhinoceroses?
So many syllables
Make this struggle uphillable
We say rhinos and just cut our losses

AnElephant does know the plural of cattle
It’s just neat when you know you can’t lose
We are nobody’s fool
We are not talking bull
One brown cow becomes two broon coos

AnElephant loves fairy tale beasties
Like griffins and centaurs and stuff
Jabberwocky and Nessie
Bigfoot and Yeti
And a sad Magic Dragon named Puff

We of course like the mammoth all woolly
Dinosaurs extinct before we were born
The quagga was tres beau
Like the poor helpless dodo
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn

Evolution dictates each beast has a mate
Drake and duck doe and buck pig and sow
She and he are a couple
But there’s only one triple
The amazing fantabulous magical mythical hipporhinocerocow

Just imagine if there was interbreeding
With some fiendish Dr Moreau type goal
It is not possible of course
To mix a frog and a horse
Or you could end up with a wriggly tad-foal

Or give a stick of dynamite to a smart monkey
And be sure to get out of the room
He’ll be quite delighted
Then he’ll try to light it
And find he has become the first flying Ba-Boom

This chap takes his camelopard to a posh restaurant
It lies down and upsets the posh staff
Excuse me, my good sir
You can’t leave that lying there
That’s not a lion you fool that’s a giraffe

Both our readers know AnElephant has great adventures
If you behave we might tell you sometime
But right now our verse
Is getting much worse
AnElephantCant think up any more rhymes

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Animal Vegetable or Minstrel?

  1. Hilarious and very Shel Silverstein.


  2. Alastair says:

    Pure genius. Thanks for the link back to this, I really enjoyed it.


  3. Pingback: The Toy – Friday Fictioneers | anelephantcant

  4. julespaige says:

    I think this is a fun one for adults! Especially the ones that like humor!



    Very funny & creative. Nice job! 🙂


  6. I did enjoy this! Thank you for lots of laughs! 🙂


  7. pennycoho says:

    Okay, that is a lengthy work of magical art.Fun and funny, mystical and whimsical all at the same time, and I mustn’t forget well done. A clever piece which I enjoyed, Penny


  8. Christina ~ says:

    Poor sad magic dragon named Puff…lol that one brought back some good memories! 😀 And of course Dr. Moreau! Yes, AnElephant just gets cleverer and cleverer…cleverousnss? :p

    And totally agree with LadyDay…where oh where is that “love”button?!?


  9. ~Lady Day says:

    This whole thing made me grin…and grin, and grin some more…lol. They really need to get a ‘love’ button on this WP thingy.


  10. mixedupmeme says:

    I never thought I would be friends with anything that could afford a Gucci Bag. I was just looking at one for over a $1000.00 and it didn’t even have a shoulder strap. 😦

    anelephant can’t think up any more rhymes?? I wonder who would be stupid enough to bet on that.


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