How Not to Parler Francais in One Really Difficult Lesson

 

AnElephantCant teach you to speak French*
But please keep these thoughts in your mind
You can’t eat a futon**
Or sit on a crouton
Unless you have a tres petit behind 

Finding rhymes in French can be quite difficile
For jus d’orange and more so for croissant
Even down in Provence
He has pas de chance
AnElephantCant even spell soupe do poisson

He likes a pastis before dinner
He drinks his café tout noir
A glass of vin blanc
With a slice of jambon
But he stays well away from foie gras

 He enjoys potjevleesch in Picardy
He loves garlic on his cuisses de grenouille
You won’t get him to bouge
From a nice verre de rouge
And cacahuetes just make him go wheeeeee!

Now French toilettes are usually quite sparkling
But there are still the old-fashioned ones too
AnElephantCant
Be interessant
When he has to stand up to pooh down a trou

 This is clearly the end of la leçon
AnElephant has sunk to his normal rude low
He may be impoli
But pas de probleme you see
He may be vieux but he is toujours tres beau!

 
* If anyone cares enough (Meme?), AnElephant will provide a glossary of translations

 **Yes, AnElephant knows! Oui, UnElephant sait bien!

But thought this was funnier than mouton or bouton.
So sue me, you won’t get peanuts!