Why Did the Hedgehog Cross the Road?

To see his flatmate

AnElephantCant deny he is grumpy
So this poem will make it official
Cynical and hard-bitten
He is totally smitten
Yes AnElephant has met someone special

What is the fastest cake?
Scone.

She tells awful jokes that are funny
Like the Marx Brothers except perhaps dafter
She makes her own rules
To thrash this old fool at pool
She makes AnElephant’s sides sore with laughter

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
D’ you think he saw us!

She does somersaults and other weird bounces
She can do crazy stuff on her trampoline
She does great big jumps
And front and back bumps
She makes AnElephant turn aquamarine

 Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ipe
Ipe who?

 (Read it aloud and groan)

Her father is AnElephant’s best friend
Her mother a total sweetheart herself
Her brother and sister
Are magical elixir
And Leanne is just perfect at twelve

What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
No idea!

Every couple of years AnElephant spends a few days in France, often travelling by car or overnight sleeper bus.
It is around 500 miles from his hut in Scotland to La Manche, the English Channel.
By great good fortune the family described in the poem above live very near to the Ferry Port of Dover.
They are kind enough to disrupt their home and their lives to accommodate this cranky old git for a few days by welcoming him with grace and open arms.

What do you call a reindeer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!

They are as a family and individually 5 of the best people in the world.
Each of them has a special place in my heart.
And my thanks.
Once again.

Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop!