I, Elephant

AnElephantCant quite grasp technology
He isn’t too bright as you know
He is not quite in sync
Some things do make him think
His brain functions are just a bit slow

Now the boffins at Rethink Robotics
Have developed a new exciting you-know-what
We’re not sure if the plan
Is to just replace man
With Baxter the affordable Robot

They say that it can apply common sense
But we wonder if it really has enough
Will it take time to pause
And apply the Three Laws
As devised by the great Isaac Asimov

Now in Scotland when we think of Baxters
They’re the nice folk who make lovely soup
You’ll be better off
With a plate of Scotch Broth
Rather that a butler from some strange hi-tech group

How hard is it to make a wee robot
You stick a microchip inside a tin can
You don’t need a heart
Just think back to the start
Of that movie with the original Tin Man

There is a shelf load of fictional robots
AnElephant loves Marvin the Paranoid Android
In Star Trek there was Data
Good ol’ Arnie’s Terminator
And Hal who it is best to avoid

Asimov wrote of a robot called Robbie
And tales told by a Robopsychologist
R2D2 was fine
As indeed was K9
Perhaps they would prefer a metallurgist

Now it seems that Baxter is somewhat androgynous
It is neither a he nor a she
But AnElephant suspects
You can suss out its sex
Just wait and see where it goes for a pee

Now Baxter can’t make drinks or fold towels
Or do anything too clever – so what
If you want a helper with grace
Not a screen for a face
AnElephant costs peanuts and is more fun than a robot

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to I, Elephant

  1. Pingback: Sonnet: | David Emeron: Sonnets

  2. Pingback: Can an Elephant?: | David Emeron: Sonnets

  3. Pingback: Sonnet: | David Emeron: Sonnets

  4. emmylgant says:

    If the plan is to replace man, don’t fret, you’re anElephant and AnElephantcant be replaced no way no how. Too unique, too special, and way too clever… Not to mention funny!


  5. pennycoho says:

    As ever, a wonderful piece, Made me smile and laugh. Delightful. A pure pleasure to come and read your words, An elephantcan’t know how much I enjoy his writings! The whimsical nature, the cleverness of ideas and the pure joy of the rhyme! 🙂


  6. This did make me giggle! I am anxious to introduce my husband to your blog, he will enjoy your work.

    You left a delightful verse at my blog and I wanted to thank you for it. I couldn’t find another place to leave it so I hope it is alright that I leave it here. I posted this comment:

    Thank you for the kind words most finely wrought, anelephantcant.
    Your verse was an unlooked for gift, and all the more delightful for that. I am pleased that my words relayed my admiration for Lady Day’s art.
    I hope you will stop by again.


    • AnElephantCant hide his great pleasure
      To meet folk who know sweet Lady Day
      This place is quite grubby
      But please bring your hubby
      And just pop in next time you’re passing this way


      • David Emeron says:

        AnElephantCant ever really know,
        How certainly her hubby thinks it grand,
        That put a smile on my true loves face,
        Such wonderful attention, as first hand.

        But greatest joy as do your words bestow,
        Dear pachyderm, don’t misconstrue me please,
        In spreading mirth as do your words with grace
        The more affects him, well it guarantees

        Beyond so great a joy, as overflow
        Most all the expectations he conceives
        And writes he sonnets all the more apace
        Although the holiday so interleaves;

        Although his sonnets flow like water, won’t
        Disgrace such inspiration if they don’t!


  7. Alastair says:

    AnElephant should know
    Before non tech he does go
    That the thing about a robot
    A soul and heart it has not got

    So his happiness should not be displaced
    As there is no chance to be replaced


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