Saint Andra’s Fault

AnElephantCant tell you too much
About St Andrew who is Scotland’s Patron Saint
According to tittle tattle
He won us a battle
So we seem to have no cause for complaint

Now Andy is quite a busy chappie
He is also the main man for Barbados
He does Ukraine and Russia
And formerly Prussia
But still found time to help us bash some invaders

30th November is his day to remember
But we don’t really celebrate it
We don’t get a day off
Unless we fake a wee cough
In this weather a holiday’s not highly rated

In California if you speak of Saint Andrew
You may face a serious assault
We may do folk a disservice
But it seems they are nervous
Because in Spanish he is honest to a Fault

He is depicted as being an old dude
With white hair that is long and untidy
If he were a Scot
Though we’re quite sure he’s not
He’d need to comb it at least every third Friday

It seems he was Peter’s wee brother
They made their living in a boat doing fishing
He was the first disciple
So quite archetypal
He was considered a man on a mission

Our national flag is known as The Saltire
A white ‘x’ on a sea of sky blue
Denoting his crucifixion
This may in fact be fiction
AnElephant leaves that decision to you

There is a town here that is named after oor Andra
Which is famous for the golfing of course
It is quite a tough life
On the east coast of Fife
Because the winds are quite often gale force

The university is also quite well known
Founded 600 years ago in 1410
It was only the third
After Cambridge and Oxford
In the English-speaking world way back then

So today we say well done to Big Drookit*
As we Scots refer to folk with that name
But before he gets smug he
Might give us a hand at the rugby
It’s an awfy long time since we last won a game

*Drookit: soaking wet, drenched – An-drewdroo-kit, get it?

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour, Scottish Stuff, funny and serious and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Saint Andra’s Fault

  1. alison says:

    Stayed in a lovely wee B&B with beautiful views over the harbour recently.It was a stunning couple of peaceful, sunny, autumn days that are good for the soul.I think you are the Brian I knew many years ago. Leonard Cohen fan? Seems like you’re still charming the ladies! Forgive me for not rhyming this but I’m not as talented as you and your fans are.


  2. pennycoho says:

    I loved it! Completely up to Anelephantcant’s high standards! Just great and fun too! 🙂


  3. emmylgant says:

    Well, whatever he’s done, it’s not my fault.


  4. mixedupmeme says:

    Do you eat turkey on this day?


  5. Alastair says:

    I hope AnElephant has a good St Andrews day
    Even though it is the same in every way
    In that you work you rest or you play
    So instead, I hope you have a good one, I will say


  6. There's a frog on my Sprocket! says:

    How, I have come to love Scotland in my short time here. I am a Swede by birth but a Scotsman in heart and soul. There is no better place in all the world I am sure.
    Here is to St. Andrew and all he protects!
    great post


  7. I lived a few minutes drive from Dunnotter and worked in Stonehaven before we left the salty, rugged coastline for flatland. I didn’t ever visit the castle though. Bad me. I do hope we perform better in the 6 nations in 2013…we had a lot of potential this year. x


Go on, say something, even if it's rude!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.