He Can’t Dance He Can’t Sing He Can’t Do A Jolly Thing

sad ele

AnElephantCant tell if it’s a good idea
To put his voice on this inter web thingy
The next thing you know
Folk will want the whole show
They will expect him to do dancing and singing

He does almost anything for a peanut
In Italy he gets fed hot biscotti
If he gets any warmer
He may sing Nessun Dorma
He has the size not the voice of Pavarotti

He is not light on his tootsies this pachyderm
He dances more like a camel than a bear
His foxtrot appals
His Viennese Waltz
Makes a penguin look like Fred Astaire

His voice is not like Morgan Freeman
All deep and full of rich timbre
The ladies don’t thrill
To his tones harsh and shrill
Like the brakes on his car in December

But he can play the odd musical instrument
If you give him a drum he can thump it
He plays the guitar
Like a goose with catarrh
But like Louis he is cool on the trumpet

He comes nowhere in the charm stakes
He can’t show a lady good times
He’s not like Brad George or Sean
His looks are long gone
So he stays home and writes his wee rhymes

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to He Can’t Dance He Can’t Sing He Can’t Do A Jolly Thing

  1. emmylgant says:

    What a treat it is to hear your voice
    This inter web thingy was a good choice.
    You have rhymes galore
    Let us here some more.
    Don’t be bashful,
    We’d be grateful 🙂


  2. mixedupmeme says:

    Meme always wondered how AnElephantCant spoke
    Is that funny sound just all a joke
    Is this how he woos his ladies fair
    Giving one big blast of hot air

    There is nothing in his voice she would ever edit
    But can’t help thinking she deserves some credit

    For she begged and begged his trumpet to hear
    And now that he’s gone and done it
    She is addicted —- as predicted
    And is off to click and rerun it


  3. Christina ~ says:

    I love love LOVE getting to hear your voice!! 😀 Of course I loved your poem…I always do..but this was a treat I will hope to have repeated!! Huge hugs for my favorite heffalump!!


  4. you have an amazing distinct style, and such joy shines through your posts! great work as usual!


  5. pennycoho says:

    Simply outstanding, wonderful, loved the accent and the poem and the pictures and…


  6. pennycoho says:

    Reblogged this on TheWhyAboutThis and commented:
    For all of those who haven’t visited anelephantcan’t in Scotland I’ve reblogged so you can see what you’ve been missing! Enjoy!


  7. Alastair says:

    AnElephant has a voice
    That reminds me the boys
    You can tell he is from Scotland
    As his voice is not at all bland.
    I will now bid you adieu
    And for the voice, say thank you


  8. backfromtheedge says:

    What could possibly be wrong with a good, Scottish accent like that?


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