December Dissembler

xmasfun 2

AnElephantCant stay calm through December
You all know he has very good reason
You must comprehend
As it draws to its end
He is over-excited by the whole festive season

But first it stumbles in after November
A month with not much to commend it
Except Guy Fawkes so worthy
The great RLS’s birthday
And a great blog well AnElephant penned it

He already explained it is misnamed
Because December really means it’s the tenth month
But to celebrate much gore
The Romans lobbed in two more
If they’d kept conquering this could well be the nth month

On the 14th we celebrate Monkey Day
Though AnElephant has no idea why
Then if anyone recalls this
It is the Winter Solstice
When the sun stays so low in the sky

Then it is time to hang up a huge stocking
Which AnElephant borrows from his dear mum
With great anticipification
And some trepidation
In case Santa gets his bum stuck in the lum*

On the 26th AnElephant is inactive
He recovers from his Christmas lunch
He likes to lie low
Avoiding a blow from a foe
Because Boxing Day often arrives with a punch

We now arrive at the last day of December
The old year is well on its way
Then would you believe
We celebrate New Year’s Eve
Which in Scotland we call Hogmanay

This is a night for wishing well to a’body**
And to avoid saying anything too inflammatory
Because we all need good cheer
To start the New Year
When we resurface on the first of January

*lum – Scots for chimney
**a’body – Scots for everyone

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to December Dissembler

  1. utesmile says:

    Wishing you a great Christmas time and hope Santa does not get his bum stuck…….
    I am with you and re surface on the1st January. Wishing you also an elephantastic new year. May your wonderful words continue in 2013, they are such fjoy to read!


  2. Christina ~ says:

    If ever I’m in need of a smile or a word that I must use but haven’t the ability to make up…this is my ‘go to’ place!! “Anticipification” lol love it!!! Oh…and I must also, good sir, compliment you on your very extremely way clever title….as you know…3/4th’s of any good post in in the title!!! 😉


  3. pennycoho says:

    I just love this. Anelephantcan’t know how clever his words are. Always a pleasure to come here and read your posts! 🙂


  4. Alastair says:

    I know someone who went to Scotland to celebrate Hogmanay and he said it was a unique experience. He said that everyone leaves their doors open for people to just walk in and out. As long as you took something in, like coal or bread, you could help yourself to food and drink. This was about 20 years ago and I no longer talk to him, so it may have changed or he may have fabricated the whole thing.


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