Sports Agitated

Tartan Army

AnElephantCant tell Americans about sports
He figures you guys reckon you are pretty expert
He knows some that are different
In which you are less mellifluent
Please do not take his lectures to heart

You play all sorts of games no one else does
He doesn’t understand American Football or Baseball
He likes Hockey on Ice
Played by sweet genial guys
And those Basketball dudes who are just soo-oo-oo tall

But this year you have had some surprises
That got AnElephant’s feet all a-stamping
A thrilling Ryder Cup
Won again by Europe
And Oor Andy* is US Tennis Champion

In Scotland we have the genteel sport of Shinty
Which is like Hockey without any rules
This is legalised mayhem
You can practically slay ‘em
With a club that’s the size of a school

Things are much more sedate down in England
Chaps dress in whites and stroll to the wicket
They stop for lunch and for tea
They are so jolly civilised you see
Unsportsmanlike cads are told ‘I say, that’s not cricket’

AnElephant doesn’t like too much violence
Though as a pup he was not bad at rugger
In the land of Springboks**
He took some hard knocks
Dear ladies he is now better known as a hugger

*Andrew Murray, Dunblane, Scotland – so nah nah nah nah nah!
**South African Rugby Team, Winners of 2 of the last 5 World Cups

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8 Responses to Sports Agitated

  1. ladysighs says:

    ladysighs tries to reason in this cold season
    Why AnElephantCant likes Meme to court
    Though her voice is pleasin’ she’s always a teasin’
    With her he should not cavort

    If AnElephantCant is truly looking for sport
    ladysighs knows just the right sort


  2. emmylgant says:

    Don’t want to be a spoil-sport,
    But all this talk of sport
    Has me lost in translation,
    On the edge of conniption…
    Never understood the point
    Of bruising and fighting for a ball
    When asking please is more cordial.


  3. Alastair says:

    AnElephant has put forward some thoughts
    On his views of a great many sports
    Very well did our Murray
    Beating all in a hurry
    Just in time to go to the bar and drink Ports


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