Sports Agitated

AnElephantCant tell Americans about sports
He figures you guys reckon you are pretty expert
He knows some that are different
In which you are less mellifluent
Please do not take his lectures to heart

You play all sorts of games no one else does
He doesn’t understand American Football or Baseball
He likes Hockey on Ice
Played by sweet genial guys
And those Basketball dudes who are just soo-oo-oo tall

But this year you have had some surprises
That got AnElephant’s feet all a-stamping
A thrilling Ryder Cup
Won again by Europe
And Oor Andy* is US Tennis Champion

In Scotland we have the genteel sport of Shinty
Which is like Hockey without any rules
This is legalised mayhem
You can practically slay ‘em
With a club that’s the size of a school

Things are much more sedate down in England
Chaps dress in whites and stroll to the wicket
They stop for lunch and for tea
They are so jolly civilised you see
Unsportsmanlike cads are told ‘I say, that’s not cricket’

AnElephant doesn’t like too much violence
Though as a pup he was not bad at rugger
In the land of Springboks**
He took some hard knocks
Dear ladies he is now better known as a hugger

*Andrew Murray, Dunblane, Scotland – so nah nah nah nah nah!
**South African Rugby Team, Winners of 2 of the last 5 World Cups