Light-heartedly Half-hearted*

Trumpet Involuntary by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant claim to have politesse
It is his rudeness that sets him apart
In this post he proves it
Any doubt he removes it
He explains the international fart

AnElephant’s mummy is a sensitive creature
He takes very good care not to goad her
He gets quickly chased
If he writes in bad taste
So he discusses the sound not the odour

In Norway where Thor roars like thunder
It sounds like an old Viking sea lord
In a Norwegian Wood
A Norwegian Blue’d
Hear it echo off the walls of the fjord

It Spain there is the sharp sound of castanets
But in France just over the border line
Monsieur and Madame cower
Beneath the Eiffel Tower
As Blowing in the Wind is played on the accordion

In the USA the military fanfare
Is the March of the Stars and the Stripes
In Scotland no surprise
We are less civilized
Our kilts swing to the skirl of bagpipes

But the truth is that farts are ubiquitous
They are the theme tune of Tom Dick and Harry
It is music to the ears
That everyone hears
It is the sound of the Trumpet Involuntary

*In many parts of the world, including Scotland and some US states, the pronoun ‘I’ is pronounced ‘Ah’.
Think about the title again!