Light-heartedly Half-hearted*

Trumpet Involuntary by Phil Burns

Trumpet Involuntary by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant claim to have politesse
It is his rudeness that sets him apart
In this post he proves it
Any doubt he removes it
He explains the international fart

AnElephant’s mummy is a sensitive creature
He takes very good care not to goad her
He gets quickly chased
If he writes in bad taste
So he discusses the sound not the odour

In Norway where Thor roars like thunder
It sounds like an old Viking sea lord
In a Norwegian Wood
A Norwegian Blue’d
Hear it echo off the walls of the fjord

It Spain there is the sharp sound of castanets
But in France just over the border line
Monsieur and Madame cower
Beneath the Eiffel Tower
As Blowing in the Wind is played on the accordion

In the USA the military fanfare
Is the March of the Stars and the Stripes
In Scotland no surprise
We are less civilized
Our kilts swing to the skirl of bagpipes

But the truth is that farts are ubiquitous
They are the theme tune of Tom Dick and Harry
It is music to the ears
That everyone hears
It is the sound of the Trumpet Involuntary

*In many parts of the world, including Scotland and some US states, the pronoun ‘I’ is pronounced ‘Ah’.
Think about the title again!

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Light-heartedly Half-hearted*

  1. I giggle as I read out loud,
    I laugh quite merrily,
    A pleasure to meet
    Such a poetic treat,
    ‘Tis truth sired verilly!

    Kind regards from Baldy
    (loved this!) 🙂


  2. Sarah Ann says:

    Great post – very delicate. I love the idea of you vetting your posts for your sensitive mum.


  3. emmylgant says:

    AnElephant is in good company
    Even Erasmus wrote of “pets”
    because it is funny
    He said
    A chacun son pet sent bon


  4. bulldog says:

    Now a bulldog can blow like a bullfrog,.
    and a cat a little like the chat,
    but an elephant can’t,
    interpret the Gregorian chant,
    like the bulldog can a breast implant.


  5. Bumba says:

    Harry and involuntary
    That’s quite a combination
    We hear a mighty fart
    Anelephantcant start
    To trumpet a new caccaphonation


    • AnElephantCant apologise enough here
      These comments leave him feeling wary
      Has he caused offence
      With all his nonsense
      Who cares – it is quite voluntary


      • Bumba says:

        Any old Harry can make rhymes with Mary
        An Elephantcant, but then he can!
        It’s very impressive and in no way offensive
        Keep rhyming and don’t be at all pensive


  6. As always, you make me smile and I am reminded of my brothers who used to try to light their farts, much to my delight! 🙂


  7. Alastair says:

    I love this rhyme you’ve done today
    I saw the title and was going to start
    “It would be fine
    If he saw that the line
    Said that he had just had a fart”

    Love it 🙂


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