European in the Dark Here

The Rare European Elephant by Phil Burns

The Rare European Elephant by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant deny he’s a strange dude
Who runs this daft blog as a sideline
This beau European
Siempre agreeing
Considers linguistics as merely a guideline

A fluent speaker of what he calls Eurinal
Employing words from each modern language
His casual translation
And interpretation
Cause confusion and no little anguish

AnElephantCant speak very good German
When he greets you it sounds like a sneeze
When he’s in Deutschland
With phrase book in hand
He says Ich spreche nur Schottisch*

AnElephantCant converse in Italian
He just doesn’t find it so easy
He feels quite at home
In Milan or Rome
But says Parlo solo Scozzese*

AnElephantCant pronounce Chinese Mandarin
He can’t get his tongue to do tricks
Confucius say Why
Not give it a try?
But he can’t even eat with chopsticks

AnElephantCant be charming in Spanish
There’s no way he is smelling like roses
In Madrid or Tenerife
He just grits his teeth
Saying lo siento hablo solamente Escocés*

AnElephantCant parle the old Francais
Though he has been there more often than Rothesay
He has mastered one phrase
This Elephant says
Ooh la la Je ne parle qu’Ecossais*

So AnElephantCant claim he’s a linguist
He can’t even claim that he’s clever
But please rest assured
Whene’er he’s abroad
He can trumpet Bonnie Scotland For Ever!

*I speak only Scottish

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to European in the Dark Here

  1. nightlake says:

    An elephant has a self-depreciating sense of humor, but readers do think he is smart. The artwork is lovely here, especially with the hat:)


  2. utesmile says:

    No German ??? you can always take me as a translator when you go to Germany. 🙂


  3. acflory says:

    Muy funny!


  4. RoSy says:

    You are the most creative elephant I’ve met – that’s for sure. I’ve never known another to speak or write & have such a fun sense of humor 🙂


  5. Penny L Howe says:

    Anelephantcan’t is truly in his element here. Having fun, entertaining with charming wit and rhyme. Truly he can speak and be understood where ever he goes. He loves and appreciates life and has that special gift of presenting the humorous side of things. So important today. An excellent thing to share with others online. Thank you, 🙂


  6. crazybunny66 says:

    Lol, Deep down I knew there was a reason why I married a Scot, love your sense of humor 🙂


  7. Another beautifully crafted piece of entertainment! Thank you! 🙂


  8. emmylgant says:

    Ton cousin, celui de Marseille,
    M’a dit que tu parles bien Francais,
    Pas seulement Ecossais!
    Il dit que c’est une merveille,
    Comme du caramel.

    Peu importe où l’on va
    On amène son pays avec soi
    Car on ne peut pas
    Arracher les racines du coeur.


  9. eTilde says:

    A linguist embraces the grammatical,
    seriously making language mathematical.
    AnElephant needs none of this
    –converses in good-humored bliss,
    making language elegant and unproblematical.


    • AnElephantCant help thinking you’re crazy
      Although you do write some wonderful words
      AnElephant ain’t elegant
      He’s an inelegant Elephant
      The linguistic problems he creates are absurd


  10. Alastair says:

    Haha this was ever so funny
    The way that AnElephant pokes
    The language is fun
    With many a pun
    These must be some of his best jokes


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