AnElephantCant think clearly this morning
There may be something quite wrong with his head
But he feels sure at a pinch
He can meet Alastair’s Challenge
Or perhaps he should just have stayed in his bed
He has always thought it a curse.
He came to the café almost two hours ago, just after 4 a.m.
He has been watching her ever since.
She is lovely.
She has a gentle smile for everyone she serves.
The louder customers she deflects with ease and charm.
She never appears flustered.
She lifts empty cups from empty tables.
She looks straight at him.
She smiles her gentle smile.
Is that a twinkle in her eye?
She must have someone in her life.
She is far too special to be alone.
A man has appeared behind the counter
She disappears behind the curtain and re-emerges with her coat on.
She smiles at him as she goes out the door.
He is right behind, calling to her as she crosses the road.
She turns and so gently, so sweetly, so invitingly, smiles again just before the fatal impact.
Pingback: Photo Fiction: Sunday 05th May 2013 – Sunday Photo Fiction
You set this one up so gently it hit me like a Mack truck! Nice work.
En Ecosse on dit MacTruck!
What a twist in the tail. 😦 Can’t you rewrite the ending? 🙂
For you, of course:
She turns and so gently, so sweetly, so invitingly, smiles again just before a big crocodile bit her head right off.
Sorry, and thank you, really!
So sad. Glad there was someone to watch over her those final hours so she didn’t die alone.
Thank you for your visit and comment.
Hope you enjoyed it regardless.
A great story – but – oh so sad 😦
Thank you, RoSy, happy to make you sad!
He really needs to get more sleep! 🙂
Not a problem for her now!
No I suppose not! 🙂
oh no.. since you said fatal, that’s it.. expected a sweet story, but unexpected ending
AnElephant doesn’t do ‘sweet’ very often!
Thanks for visiting.
Oh. The last line had such ‘impact’, to use your word. Very nicely built up. It was entirely unexpected.
Thank you, Ankita, glad you liked it.
Well, glad you read it anyway!
Hahahah! Yes, I’m coming around gradually 🙂
Hmmph. She’s too nice to bump off. I choose to think the insomniac got a permanent cure.
Please feel free to interpret in whatever way you are happy with.
Thanks for your visit and comment, always appreciated.
Oh man, you broke my heart with that one. That just goes to show you built the story up very well. Great story.
Thank you so much.
Glad it got to you, your comments greatly appreciated.
….And then he scoops her up, while waiting for the medics…just maybe, just maybe she was only stunned… As we all were reading the last lines!!!
Always a ‘kicker’ there Elephant…Well done.
Ever the optimist, Jules!
Keep on believing …..
Well, that last line will wake anyone up. A very touching tale. Enjoyed it, until you that impact.
That was kinda the point!
Pingback: Sunday 05th May 2013 | Alastair's Photo Fiction
Excellent story with an ending that made me go “awwwwwww”
Love this. Such a sad ending to it
It was great. It reminds me of the scene from Final Destination :wicked: