AnElephantCant really deny it
We Scots have the world’s worst diet
Nothing we eat
Whether chocolate or meat
Tastes quite right unless we deep fry it
Our staple grub is haggis and neeps*
Which we don’t export so you should be grateful
We love pie and beans
Eat tons of ice cream
And shovel down mince and tatties* by the plateful
AnElephant once courts a young lady
Takes her out for a nice meal of course
He orders a salad
She says this romance is invalid
I don’t want to marry a sheep or a horse
A Scot does not care if he’s threatened
If you start any fight he can win it
But if you take his sausages
And hold them as hostages
He will surrender in less than a minute
He eats anything that is based on sugar
Munches swedgers that is candy to you
Biscuits* and cake
And his thirst he must slake
Not with Coke Zero but gallons of Irn Bru*
Mummy Elephant makes soups and stews weekly
The ingredients are random and mixed
He protests in vain
Like a fairground Ghost Train
He never knows what scary thing comes next
Now each nation has its own culture
And everyone eats what he must
AnElephant stays slim
Though he is full to the brim
By guzzling his own body weight in peanuts
Neeps – Turnip
Tatties – Potatoes
Biscuit – Cookies
Irn Bru – Scotland’s other national drink
Interestingly, or otherwise, carbonated soft drinks are called lemonade (regardless of flavour), ginger, scoosh, and about a million other things
And do you realise AnElephant does an entire piece about food in Scotland without mentioning porridge!
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I feel hungry now!
So do you eat porridge? My favourite Scottish exports are shortbread and oatcakes – definitely not a recipe for staying slim.
And AnElephant has red hair, wears a kilt and plays the bagpipes!
I must have Scottish blood in my veins…
Oh, dear, RoSy,
Take care of yourself!
Ahaha! A delightful lesson in Scottish cuisine! Neeps huh? Hopefully there’s some sugar involved in the preparation of those!
Sugar on neeps!
Some folk have no culture!
at least the elephant says he is slim with all these food. That is a great advantage:)
AnElephant’s long nose is not an accident!
The chinese takeaway I had in Scotland was quite alright…… haha, I did go to a butcher and had different meats and haggis explained to me. He thought I was from outer space…… 🙂
Englandshire, outer space, all the same to us!
AnElephantCant be wrong
This would kill me for sure
But to stay warm and strong
Their winter and spring to endure
Perhaps Les Ecossais
Must fry, fry away…
Whoa, there, Emmy
AnElephant does the funnies, especially the bad puns!
Wot, no porrige? Love this but I think you missed out the Mars bars though I guess verse 1 alludes to it – the Deep Fried Mars Bar that we in England hear about!
Sorry I haven’t been by for a while, been busy with new Grandbaby! 🙂
AnElephant has also heard of this, but never seen it.
Think it was an urban myth that now probably does happen.
And congrats on new addition!
AnElephant has spoken all about food
But you forgot something I guess
I don’t like the neeps
Sorry there, peeps
And you never mentioned the Haggis?
Er, em, actually, Verse 2, line 1, just before the neeps
It looks as though poor Al
Has got himself in too deep!
But obviously this is the common or garden variety
And not the Wild Sea Water beastie
That threatens civilised society!
Whoops says Al as he sits in the fence
Sometimes he can be completely dense