Elephants in your Pants!

AnElephant and AnAnt by Phil Burns

AnElephant and AnAnt by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant play nicely with ants
Doom and disaster all too quickly beckon
He thinks they are neat
But the size of his feet
Means he can obliterate several zillion in a second

He admires how they transport large objects
Like a flake of his breakfast croissant
They all work together
Make it light as a feather
Though to them it is about a hundred feet long

Their individual strength is impressive
They can lift 17,346 times their own weight
Which if AnElephant could
He’d be like that Atlas dude
And carry the whole world on his shoulders while standing up straight

Ants of course have a few extra legs and things
They are technically known as Hexapods or Hexapeds
They vary in size
Have compound eyes
And wee feeler things called antennae on their heads

They are the ultimate colonialists
They farm plants and have beasties they milk
They support each other
Like sister and brother
And like the old song they are The Folks who Live on the Hill

Now there is one more thing he has to tell you
AnElephANT is not related to ants
Despite his name
They are not quite the same
So he glances askance at the advance of ants who chance to dance and prance in his pants

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Elephants in your Pants!

  1. Penny L Howe says:

    Brilliant words, so very clever. And regarding an elephant in one’s pants … 🙂 xo


  2. RoSy says:

    I could have used AnElephant’s big feet a few months ago when ants tried to invade my home.


  3. helenmidgley says:

    Great pace, loved it 🙂


  4. colonialist says:

    *indignantly* They are NOT the ultimate Colonialists. I am!
    People with ants in their pants are not good to be around.


  5. Great piece. Miss you dear friend… xxxx


  6. emmylgant says:

    Far out heavy duty
    Internal rhyme
    On that last verse!
    Is AnElephant antsy,
    making up for lost time,
    Or just un-terse?


  7. misskzebra says:

    This poem made me feel a bit itchy, I must say.


    • AnElephant suggests you have a good scratch!
      But ants are cool dudes.


      • misskzebra says:

        (Do you understand how hard it was for me, upon seeing the title of this piece, not to simply comment: “Well, depends how big his trunk is?”

        I promise that’s my bit if immaturity out for the day.)


        • AnElephant does not understand this comment at all because if he does it means the lovely stripey lady is being a trifle smutty and he is quite sure that cannot possibly be the situation.
          But he has a schoolboy snigger just in case!
          And, on the off chance you do not notice, he is not too big on maturity.


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