The Past – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant write a rhyme this week
He just does not have even a minute
He is on a trip
By plane not by ship
He’s from Scotland and he is briefly back in it

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Hosted by the magnificent Rochelle, this is a gathering of writers from around the globe, a melange of cultures, ages, genders and ideas.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright -Renee Heath

Copyright -Renee Heath

The Past

He does not look back over his shoulder, although he knows the past is close behind him.
He does not understand.
So many years, so many towns.
He has travelled so far and yet gone nowhere.
What rankles most is that he is innocent of the charges.
Although he admits to being guilty of so much more.
The street is dark, the feeble lights flickering futilely.
The soft wind blows him into a lit doorway.
The bar is almost empty.
He relaxes.
Then he hears the soft moan of a blues saxophone and knows that his time has run out.

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52 Responses to The Past – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Dee says:

    Brilliant, that is all I have to say.
    Except enjoy your trip to the Highlands and Lowlands – I lived there briefly, a lifetime ago.
    Take a wee dram for me and enjoy your time there.


  2. bennitheblog says:

    Wow, just really beautiful! Great job.


  3. “Although he admits of being guilty of so much more”…I like that.


  4. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear AEC,

    History tailgates, blue saxophone and all.




  5. Ye Pirate says:

    Somewhere,somehow,it all catches up, and the sigh of the saxophone says it all…


    • Ain’t that the truth, in life and in fiction!
      Thank you, Mr Pirate, for your observations, saying exactly what AnElephant tried to communicate.
      And the sax, of course …….


  6. zookyworld says:

    I agree with Bjorn, there’s a ton not said here, that the reader has to use their imagination to fill in the rest. And when that blues saxophone plays, you know nothing good is about to happen.


  7. I love open ended stories. and this one contain so many riddles for the reader to fill in. Yes this was great.


  8. I feel like you’ve written a whole novel in these 100 words. The mood here is brilliant.


  9. I really enjoyed reading this. Great story. What did he do? What didn’t he do? Excellent.


    • Ah yes, always the questions!
      But the 100 words are all used up and the lovely Rochelle will probably pulverise AnElephant if he says more.
      Delighted you enjoyed, and thanks for your visit and comment.


  10. I love these lines: “What rankles most is that he is innocent of the charges. Although he admits to being guilty of so much more.” That could be said of many, I think. Of course I wonder what’s making him move on and why the sax brings it to life, but you conveyed well the sense of weariness at having to constantly be looking over your shoulder and moving on.

    Have a wonderful time in Scotland.



  11. Dear Elephant,

    I love the atmosphere in this piece. The saxophone left me wanting more.

    Wishing you continued safe travels.




    • M’lady Rochelle
      AnElephant is touched by your good wishes.
      And delighted that you enjoyed his little contribution to your weekly feast.
      Ah, the sax!
      Yep, it just works, does it not?


  12. pattisj says:

    A pleasant read. One could feel time catching up with him, the run slowing to a crawl, tired and weary.


  13. denmother says:

    Ooh. Very much enjoyed the lull of this tale.


  14. wmqcolby says:

    It has the “experience” factor usually associated with poetry … which is good.
    Bravo, Mister Elephant.


  15. Thomas Wolfe said it, you can’t go home again, and I think he was right. Ron


  16. vbholmes says:

    The sax finished me–you successfully captured the man, his regrets, his environment and his future. All in 100 words. Well done.


    • Just occasionally it all comes together.
      AnElephant has to confess he rather likes this one himself.
      Thank you for your very kind analysis and for taking the time to share your thoughts.


  17. helenmidgley says:

    awww, a lovely piece 🙂


  18. misskzebra says:

    It’s funny how I almost feel more homesick when I’m back at my parent’s home than when I’m away, because it reminds of the past that I’ll never have back.


  19. Joe Owens says:

    Working on my emotions AEC, bringing a touching story to us this week.


  20. emmylgant says:

    Always on the edge,
    stepping too close to the ledge
    And I fall for it every time!
    It should be a crime…


  21. Gabriella says:

    Nostalgia comes to mind when reading your post anelephant!
    Enjoy Scotland while you are there. You now live in ‘my’ country, I once lived in ‘yours’.


  22. summerstommy2 says:

    This is lovely sir elephant. The sense of innocence gone ignored is clear. Added to that there is a sadness about the persona that gives it a heartfelt edge. Well done good sir.


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