Elephants Over Easy

 

Chef by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant be let loose in a kitchen
He’s like a bull in a China Shop
He can’t stand the heat
The egg has him beat
His haute cuisine is a culinary flop

He struggles with all kinds of concepts
He can’t tell a spatula from a skillet
Or ham from a clam
If you give him a yam
He’s not sure whether to kill it or grill it

He endeavours to cook something quite simple
But it always gets out of control
His light flaky crust
Is all covered in rust
And he can’t stop digging when he’s in a casserole

He decides to experiment internationally
Quickly has several countries in all sorts of turmoil
His pasta’s a disaster
His Baked Alaska a fiasco
It seems that even his rhymes are going off the boil

 Perhaps he next tries vegetarianism
He can chomp peanut butter or Marmite on toast
But given the chance
While he is in France
He prefers frogs legs or Moules Marinières fresh from the coast

He remains manically optimistic
He still hopes his eggs are over easy as pie
He is never mistaken
For a slice of lean bacon
But AnElephant believes a man can fry