Accensational Elephant

Nae Accent At A’ by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant keep his emotions under control
His heart rate is in rapid ascent
An American chum
Who he does not think is so dumb
Accuses AnElephant of speaking with a funny accent

Both his readers know AnElephant is a beautiful speaker
Not like a pirate or a villain or a rogue
No Aarrgghh Jim Lad
Or Oi be reet bad
Your second favourite heffelump has no trace of a brogue

It is said that he sounds European
Well duh gee whiz he is not distraught
Lui dice* Mama Mia
Il dit* Ooh la la
But jings crivvens AnElephant is still a bonnie braw Scot

In his homeland there are 613 different accents
And in Englandshire there are 3 or 4 more
All over the continent
It is considered a compliment
When you say Smörgåsbord Guten Tag or Bonjour**

Some folk say AnElephant is a very fast talker
That his flow of fast words make them feel all sea sickly
He has simple advice
Just cover your eyes
Concentrate very hard and try to listen more quickly

Perhapsh AnElephant doesh not shpeak like Sean Connery
But he communicates with great ease and no shame
He thinks life is duller
If the world gets even smaller
And we all end up sounding exactly the same

* He says
** A buffet meal, good day, good day – yes, of course it is nonsense!