Soccer Squawker Knocker Shocker

Soccer Elephant by Phil Burns

Soccer Elephant by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant say he’s much good at soccer
But there is no one but himself he can blame
When he sees it in TV
He always gets kinda queasy
He considers it a totally ridiculous game

He watches a host of superbly fit young athletes
More than 20 or so at a very rough count
But if anyone breathes
Not so much as a sneeze
About half of them collapse writhing in agony on the ground

They appear to be in paroxysms of anguish
AnElephant summonses doctors and swift stretcher bearers
But jings tout de suite
They are back on their feet
These guys are better actors than Bobby de Niro

If AnElephant plays he thinks he’s a goal-scoring striker
Or perhaps he can be resolutely defending
If a chap who is fast
Decides to run past
AnElephant is just liable to delicately upend him

He reckons he is an unbeatable goalkeeper
If the ball is in the air no one can beat him in the jump
No matter how high
Even the tallest tall guy
Can never come close to out-leaping AnElephant’s trunk

But this is not really what he plans or aspires to
He always has a preference for rumbustious rucking at rugger
But when things get too rough
He quickly says enough
AnElephant is now training to be a world-class hugger

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Soccer Squawker Knocker Shocker

  1. RoSy says:

    Not a fan of soccer -But – I am a fan of hugs! 😉


  2. You’re still the best hugger out there… even if you do step on my foot sometimes LOL 🙂


  3. I must say the evening is always made sweeter
    when I find a post from AnElephant in my reader!


  4. utesmile says:

    I love a world class hugger! The way to go! yay


  5. emmylgant says:

    AnElephantCan be the best goalkeeper
    ever because nothing gets past him
    he’s too smart to be foiled or fooled
    He wouldn’t crumple on a whim
    he just might could upend soccer! 😉


  6. Soccer is populated with floppy haired overpaid playboys. One of the most tedious sports known to mankind.


  7. Anja says:

    uhhhhh….since I LOVE soccer…this may have caused a rift in our friendship AnElephant. Not sure where to go from here……..
    I will say happy to hear AnElephant is going for world-class hugger. 🙂


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