AnElephantCant ever go trespassing
He is afraid he gets chased by big dogs
When their teeth are bared
He does get quite scared
To tell you the truth he is even frightened of fierce frogs
Once again it isFriday Fictioneer time.
Where landlord Rochelle rents out rooms to the talented tellers of terrific tales.
And AnAnxiousElephant squats in the basement.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.
See Rochelle’s page and other tales here:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/6-december-2013/
AnElephantCant make the link thingy on here work now.
Any ideas, anyone?
The Squat
They are a nice friendly bunch in here.
Too many squats are full of low lifes, druggies, scroungers, thieves.
But this one is okay.
I feel quite comfortable here.
It is dry and safe, almost homely.
They are mostly just kids, runaways, teenagers down on their luck.
They help each other, share food and smokes.
They keep the place clean, gather their rubbish and put it in a skip down the street.
It is a shame.
But best get on with it.
The problem is that I hate squatters.
I am actually quite sorry I have to shoot them all.
Why do I doubt that he hates shooting them?
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/ff-friday-fictioneers-keeping-watch-rated-pg13-1262013/
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Hi Scott, he doesn’t hate shooting them, he is just a bit sorry.
Thanks for visiting.
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love how the last line flips everything upside down. that’s what these (to me) are all about. let me know if you want some suggestions on cutting extra words to free up more description.
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Glad you like it, Sir Norts.
AnElephant agrees that this is the point of 100-words tales.
Thank you for your comment and your kind offer.
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You are very welcome and have a great day.
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It was too good to be true (then it wouldn’t be a good story if it were) but I didn’t expect my next door neighbour to turn up in your plot. 🙂
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Nobody expects – nah, AnElephant is bored with that now. So who is your next door neighbour, Boris Johnson?
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Borg is indeed trying very hard to be my next door neighbour, but we will not be assimilated into his would-be flight path. 🙂
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Yeeks, I was just thinking “this is nice” when suddenly he turns out to be a psycho! Nice build up to the shock ending.
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Oh, psycho is maybe a bit strong, perhaps just a chap with a strong sense of property rights?
But very happy you liked it.
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Oh, this was awful… In a very well-written way. Just when I was getting comfortable in this old building full of conscientious runaways… BAM! Well done.
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Yeah, well, AnElephant likes to clear the decks for next week!
Thanks for kind words.
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Hey! I wasn’t expecting that ending! Well done!
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Nobody expects – oh, see below!
Thanks for taking the time to visit and comment, glad you enjoyed.
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Whoa, strong story. I didn’t expect the severe ending. Nice one!
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Sorry, old Monty Python joke, please ignore.
Glad you enjoyed and thanks for your time and kind words.
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That ending was so left field that my reaction was a shocked laugh. What a lure…
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Yeah, left field is kinda AnElephant’s natural habitat.
And misdirection is his hobby.
Thank you for visiting and commenting.
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You alway make me feel that pain in the end.. glorious end.
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Um, AnElephant is sorry and glad?
He thinks.
Thanks, Bjorn.
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It means it’s great
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Thanks, Bjorn, you are very kind.
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Pingback: Friday Fictioneers – Violation | The Blurred Line
Brilliant! I love the slightly amused resolution. Very psycho killer.
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AnElephant is always delighted to out a smile on a lady’s face.
It is kinda what he does best!
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Yikes, Elephant!!! I thought this elephant had a heart? In fact, I’m sure he still has one that thumps pink through his compassionate veins. (Is it working yet? A happier ending, perhaps?)
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In a 100-word tale, AnElephant is insufficiently talented to create a convincing happy ending!
So he just goes for some cheery blood and gore.
It is much more fun!
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Oh I wish this didn’t make me laugh so hard! AnElephant and I are incorrigible!
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Glad you enjoyed.
AnElephant is happy for Eena to be incorrigible with him any time she is free.
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A sting in the tail. Hope it never comes to this. But sometimes not far off.
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AnElephant thanks you for your comment and asks you please to stand out of the line of fire!
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Just as they didn’t see it coming – neither did I – YIKES!
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Ah, RoSy, just too sweet for your own good!
Hugs
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Never expected that ending. Personally I wouldn’t shoot them, but most of the characters I write probably would. I’m not sure what that says about me.
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AnElephant does not harm any of Ma Nature’s creatures except, reluctantly, mosquitoes.
But his blog is a bloodbath!
So he has high hopes for you too, Adam.
Thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment.
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Ooh, that’s a wicked twist at the end. Great job!
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AnElephant is amazed that so many people seem to support this action!
Cheers, Sir Aye.
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Jeepers! Deliciously wicked! Sick twist…so why do I like it so much?
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Um, wicked, sick, em, yeah, why do you????
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(Gallic shrug with up turned hands in defeated ignorance of said situation.)
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What;s wrong with squatting? It really tones up your thighs.
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AnElephantCant possibly comment on a pretty Zebra’s thighs!
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You made us love them and hate your narrator rather quickly.
Good one.
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Picked the wrong side, did you, Dawn?
Glad you enjoyed.
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That was some twist at the end. Well done.
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Thank you, Sandra, happy you liked it.
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very dark. i liked the deceiving tone at the beginning. 🙂 PS AnElephant should know, he’s not the only one afraid of frogs… me too 🙂 lol
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Glad you like it, kz, AnElephant enjoys misdirection above all.
And that includes his view of frogs, he says anything for a rhyme!
But meeces, a different story!!!!
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Neatly done, if a bit drastic, twist at the end. 🙂
janet
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Yeah, well, if you gotta have a twist might as well make it drastic!
Thank you for taking the time to visit and comment.
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Ha!ha!Loved that ending-the poor innocent reader skipping along merrily,thinking ok,the poor buggers have at least one good Samaritan out there looking out for them and then wham!Now,the reader,slack-jawed -all air whooshing out of their lungs, gets up and slowly reads that line again and again-with wonder this time!Bravo my friend:-)
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AnElephant is very happy to have misled you, dear lady.
Glad you enjoyed his rather dramatic ending.
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😀
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I sympathise with your MC – I used to clear out squats for a living – very occasionally you do feel sympathy for them. But I didn’t use a shotgun, there are other ways!
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Not a shotgun, dear lady, that is somewhat messy.
A standard Glock 17 does just nicely here.
And thank you for visiting.
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You don’t HAVE to shoot anyone, darling. AnElephantCant help it if he is the master of the surprise ending, though, so….
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Well, sometimes you kinda do, don’t you think?
Thank you for kind words.
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Send an elephant to the med and suddenly he rampages. Hmm. LOL Shocker ending, my friend.
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AnElephant has been bumping ’em off regularly for quite some time now.
Just felt like time to boost the average!
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I do have a few murder mysteries on the parboil in the back of my brain. Several acquaintances would make great dramatic murderees. LOL But on my own blog, I forgo blood-thirstiness. 🙂
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I think the person’s sympathetic, reasonable tone only heightens the darkness of the ending. Kind of like “sorry to do it, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Oh well.” Great tale.
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Thank you, David, happy that the tone worked for you.
Cheers
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Fantastic 😀
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Cheers Al, glad you liked.
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I did. Pleasantly nasty 🙂
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Dear Elephant,
Now that was a twisted and sick ending. That’s what I loved about it. Well done. And…you are linked. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you and thank you, dear lady.
You are very kind.
Twice.
Glad you enjoyed.
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Shock ending! Didn’t see that one coming! For a squat it is certainly pretty!
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Oh well, what’s a few squatters between friends, eh?
Glad to surprise you!
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What a kill joy your are Sir elephant, here are innocent people bludging off the public purse strings and you want to go out and do away with them. I ask you good sir, we Aussies are far more tolerant and compassionate I am sure. Good yarn though.
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Glad you like wee story, Sir ST2.
Surely you are not surprised AnElephant has an intolerant side?
He bumps off someone most weeks.
Ask Anja, she keeps score!
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