My Pickle by Phil Burns
AnElephantCant ride a bicycle
He is not a candidate for next year’s Tour de France
He is quite unwaveringly unaerodynamic
He promptly gets in a pitiful panic
Going downhill his brave brakes clearly don’t stand any chance
But two-wheelers continue to fascinate him
They catch his eye in all sorts of strange places
Against a wall or a tree
Are they trying to run free
AnElephant ponders if they prefer to participate in the races
There is not really too much to a velocipede
Just handlebars a chain and two pedals
A front and back brake
A pair of wheels no mistake
And if it’s a tandem it most likely has two extremely uncomfortable saddles
A Fab Photo Op by AnElephantCant
AnElephant thinks that these vehicles are great fun on flat ground
But on mountains he strains and struggles to get to the top
He gets in a mammoth heffelumpy huff
When he runs out of pure puff
But he sees them as the perfect prop for a fabby fantastic photo op
Does Sir Walter Raleigh first create the bicycle
He invents potatoes and tobacco as well
He sails round and round the world
Till Jim* chops off his curls
And his head too because he forgets to include the bell
Some say these contraptions are the invention of a scarcely sane Scotsman
Kirkpatrick MacMillan is his somewhat strange name
But if a bike runs you over
And you then need a chauffeur
Please ensure that your second favourite pachyderm does not get the blame
*King James VI of Scotland and I of United Kingdom
anelephantcant 
Bikes are fun to ride
Of allsorts, I suppose it takes
Once, for a thrill
I rode down a hill
And then found out I had no brakes,
And that terrified the bejesus out of me.
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Bikes are such fun Sir Elephant, I used to ride a lot once, when i was young and fit. So I can appreciate your concern at alighting upon one.
Have a great Christmas Sir Elephant, may Santa be good to you.
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awwww I LOVE bicycles!! I will say, going up and down crazy hills/mountains can be challenging, but I have faith that kind AnElephant could do it very well. Although, may need to have a special bike made to be able to carry his….big ears 🙂
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