Jack and the Beanstalk – Panto III

Jack and the Beanstalk with apologies to Phil Burns

AnElephantCant really believe this tale
He is not sure if it is just one of his dreams
He is quite amazed
Because the story says
Jack swaps Mummy’s cow for what he believes are magical beans

Now his Mummy is in no way amused here
She throws the beans in the dust in disgust
But then in the morning
Without any warning
They reach remarkably right up to the clouds with a minimum of fuss

Jack is a lithe agile little laddie
He climbs up into the sky with no hubris or hassle
To his great surprise
In front of his wide open eyes
Is a gigantic Giant in a ginormous giant castle

The Giant with feeling says fee fi fo fum
Can I smell the blood of an Englishman or what
Jocund Jack remains cool
The Giant is apparently a fool
Because in AnElephant’s tale Jack is a strong stubborn Scot

The Giant tries his utmost to catch Jack
With no success the joker avoids him with leisurely pleasure
When the geriatric Giant is quite puffed
Jumping Jack’s pockets are stuffed
He goes back home and gives his Mummy all the treasure

The jealous Giant duly descends to chase Jack
Who chops down the Beanstalk with much gleeful laughter
The poor Giant lands on his head
Has to go home to his bed
And in the finest tradition of pantomime Jack and his Mummy live happily ever after