Weird Beards and Hirsute Horrors

AnElephant and AMoustache by Phil Burns

AnElephant and AMoustache by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant cultivate facial growth
well actually that is quite far from the truth
but he has no desire
to sprout chin or lip hair
because it appears ghastly grey now he is not a youth but quite long in the tooth

at one time he grows a beard every winter
to keep his wee chinny chin warm when he’s skiing
in the Juras or Alps
round his ears to his scalp
most frightened folk think it is an extinct hairy mammoth they are seeing

for a year or two he sports a droopy Mexican moustache
back in days of yore when they are a feature of fashion
the ladies all laugh
tell him he looks daft
although he thinks he looks delightfully debonair and dangerously dashing

he grows his sideburns almost down to his shoulders
he reckons this gets the gals a-quiverin’ and a-shiverin’
they shake their heads no
tell him get a banjo
and he is perfect for a small part in the movie Deliverance

AnElephant is not a big fan of the so-called soul patch
but he is never not even nearly nasty or naughty
he thinks they look silly
but if his name is Billy
it is possible he grows a rough and gruff goatee

when he is a young sprog he has a gigantic hairdo
a Dali moustache and incredible side chops
the more he is hirsuterer
the more he thinks he is cuterer
but the damsels just go ZZZZZZZZZZZZ Tops

so AnElephant stays tonsorially tasteful
he prefers to remain coolly classically clean shaven
not rumbustiously rugged
the razor comes out of the cupboard
with his soft pink cheeks he seeks more methods of mischievously misbehaving

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Weird Beards and Hirsute Horrors

  1. Al says:

    I have a permanent ginger beard
    It made me look older when I gave it a whirl
    But I have to behave
    And not have a shave
    Or people would laugh at me for resembling a girl


  2. Even in the most hurried, “hairied”of weeks; I find a smile or a laugh here. Well done 🙂


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