Magical Mystery Doer

Mammoth Magic by Phil Burns

AnElephantCant claim he’s a poet
Some of his rhymes are a mixture of cataclysmic catastrophe and terrible tragedy
But nevertheless
He wriggles out of this mess
And comes more or less straight to his point almost magically

Because today he plans to explain the mysteries of magic
Yes that lets the bag out of the cat
Or perhaps the reverse
But things can get worse
He now conjures the rabbit back into the hat

Those of you who already know this Hey Presto Heffelump
Are aware he does and says pretty much anything for a laugh
So guess how he feels
When he hears screams and squeals
As he cheerfully commences to savagely saw the lovely lady in half

AnElephantCant bend soup spoons or pink pelicans or fish forks
Although he is unsurprisingly inept in the kitchen
He induces the terrors
And a cloud of  faded feathers
When he tries to produce from his clever cloak an ex-pigeon

There is one trick he very astutely avoids
Totally and utterly convinced it ends in grimness and grief
He says hey man cool it
Please don’t fire that bullet
There is no way he can catch that in his trembling teeth

AnElephant lives for the adulation and acclaim of his audience
Nothing thrills him more than the sound of raucous cheers
He is at his proudest
When the applause reaches its loudest
At the moment the pathetic pachyderm dramatically disappears