The Message – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant walk through that door
He sees it is half way up a wall
He can’t fly he can’t jump
He lands with a terrible bump
For some reason there are no stairs at all

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Our Princess de la Porte Rochelle opens up a plethora of possibilities to perceptive pedants who practice poetic perfectionism.
And AnElephant tries to squeeze through.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright Lauren Moscato

Copyright Lauren Moscato

The Message

Make sure he knows why you are killing him.
I nod my head, still counting the notes.
You remember what you have to say, he asks for the third time.
I nod again.
I will take care of it, I say patiently.
Good man, they told me you are the best, he enthuses.
He almost pats my shoulder, thinks better of it.
Don’t contact me again, I say, pocketing the photograph.
And you won’t forget….
His voice trails off as I leave.
I knock on the door.
It is opened by the face I have memorised.
I shoot him twice in the chest, wordlessly.
If you want a message delivered, I think, hire a postman.

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, Friday Fictioneer and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

53 Responses to The Message – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Susan Langer says:

    Loved your poetry at the start and your last line. Very witty.:)


  2. Wonderful rhythm and atmosphere. AnElephant knows how to lull his reader.


  3. Margaret says:

    Breathtakingly good. I’m in awe of your skil. I’m going to read it again just for the pleasure of it.


  4. mjlstories says:

    Assassin/postman – always get those two confused. No wonder my Valentines never get back to me. You are such a helpful elephant.


  5. Loved it, top to bottom. I love how you always put the verse at the top and then do the story. So perfect


  6. Loved the twist at the end and great story. Brought a smile to the dial.


  7. Forget? Why anelephantcant never forgets!


  8. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Elephant, Excellent story and I agree with the last line too – very well thought out! Nan


  9. Francesca Smith says:

    I think he got the message good and clear, although he will not remember…
    Either way, great writing!


  10. Brilliantly executed!!!


  11. Now I’ll never know why he had to die. Darn 100 words.


  12. helenmidgley says:

    Loved your last line particularly:)


  13. MythRider says:

    Besides once he’s dead, he won’t remember anyway.


  14. So Elephant, how much do you charge? How very Dashiell Hammet of you. You are multi-graced. Poetry, comedy…flashing noir 🙂


  15. elmowrites says:

    I’m not sure the message needed words, Elephant. Loved the tone and character you infused into this story. Hire a postman indeed. Good stuff!


  16. ansumani says:

    I like this assasin a lot!


  17. emmylgant says:

    I laughed!
    AnElephant this week is comical
    the killer laconical
    and no one went postal!


  18. And who would ever know if the message was delivered?


  19. wildbilbo says:

    Loved it.

    That last sentence is a killer and just makes this whole piece awesome.


  20. Sandra says:

    I shouldn’t laugh but I nearly rolled on the floor. Such acerbity, such drollness. The whole thing spoke volumes about the perpetrator. Excellent!


  21. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear AEC,

    Perfect voice and actions for your main character. This was a very good read (said the postman). Well done.


  22. Dear Elephant,

    For such a sweet, gentle pachyderm, you seem to have a mean and dark side. I think the recipient got the message. 😉 Well done.




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