Hallowe’en Scottish Style

Hallowe'en by Phil Burns

Hallowe’en by Phil Burns

Click here to hear AnElephant read his own drivel aloud:

AnElephantCant contain his excitement
As the end of October draws near
His wee brain fair itches
As he thinks about witches
It is far and away the scariest night of the year

Aye Hallowe’en is a night of fear-filled frolics and fun
As long as you ca’ canny*
You might see a de’il
Or a bogle for real
If you keek in each impenetrably dark nook and cranny

Some traditions last forever and ever
Some changes we find quite surprising
In the US it’s neat
To say trick or treat
But in Scotland for the past 500 years we call it guising

There’s ay laughter and games for the children
With treacle scones hung on a loosely-strung string
Just mind your thrapple
When dookin’ for apples
In case a wild wean wi’ a sharp-pronged fork takes a swing

And everyone carves out a lacklustre lantern
We use torpid turnips but some folk use pumpkins
We may be old fashioned
But please show compassion
AnElephant should not be casually confused with a near-extinct country bumpkin

Now though it’s all modern and commercialised
We a’ continue to do things we’re no’ supposed tae
It’s still the nerve-numbing night
That causes face-freezing fright
When we walk wi’ all sorts of gruesome ghouls and ghastly ghosties

Hallowe’en is the annual haunt of the bogeyman
He frightens the bravest bairns out of their hat-disguised heads
He has never been seen
But does that really just mean
He is hiding patiently but perniciously poised under AnElephant’s bed?

*Glossary of Terms:
Aye – yes
ca’ canny – take care
bogle – a bad thing, a spectre, a goblin
keek – look
ay – always
thrapple – throat, windpipe
dookin’ – ducking, trying to capture from a large basin or bath
wean – bairn, child
tae – to
bogeyman – boogeyman (USA), very bad (hopefully) imaginary person

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, humour, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Hallowe’en Scottish Style

  1. JS Brand says:

    Thank you for the pointer CE. This is really good. The only Scots heritage I can reliably claim is a great-great grandad from Fife, but thanks to a wife fae Auld Reekie and a liking for Irvine Welsh’s writing, the only expression I had to check in your glossary was “ca’ canny”.

    I must have a stab at some poetry.


  2. Visiting by way of CE’s suggestion. You’ve written quite an extremely humorous bit of poetry.
    I liked it very much. The reading of it is enjoyable to hear.
    Greetings and Cheers …
    Isadora 😎


  3. Dahlia says:

    An unexpected and fun Halloween poem! Enjoyed it very much thank you 🙂


  4. xcomart says:

    C E

    Did you know in Spain they roast chestnuts on the 31/10 as the fiesta de castanas – the trick n treat commercialisation has affected that too – good to remind us of the guisin in scotland – awe ra best


    • AnElephant passes your message to the upstart Mr Ayr.
      In our little town they sell roast chestnuts – very cheap, 1 euro for a wee poke – on the promenade on the Saturday before Hallowe’en.


  5. Dear Elephant,

    Simply delightful.

    Trick, treat and shalom,



  6. Dale says:

    I particularly like your giggle that you canna contain!


Go on, say something, even if it's rude!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.