and then

artwork by phil burns

and then

sometimes you drive me crazy
I start to think that maybe I’ll
be better off without you
I wonder is this all worthwhile

it isn’t easy getting close
when we have long lived single lives
especially when you and I
have tongues like cold sharp knives

we know just how to damage
with words fine laced like dirt
we probe to find the weak point
we know exactly how to hurt

and we have both grown selfish
unaware of others’ needs
we hide deep within our dark caves
until the fear of pain recedes

so we are quite reluctant
to venture brave outside
to where our hearts were ravished
to where life and love reside

you start to scratch my broken nerves
I wonder is this all worthwhile
the clouds are dark the rain pounds down
and then and then you smile


Click here to hear the poet read his words:
https://ceayr.com/2022/10/23/and-then/

somewhere anywhere

copyright c e ayr

somewhere anywhere

you said
with a laugh
let’s go
somewhere anywhere

we went to Scalpsie Bay
where the seals
feeding in the cold dark waters of the Clyde
clambered onto rocks
just to see you pass

and to Lighthouse Park
where the eagles and ravens
swooping in from the Salish Sea
or across from Vancouver Island
cried out from the treetops
in competition for your affection

and to the beach at Bonporteau
where the mermaids danced
in the breaking surf
of the magical Mediterranean
and beckoned for you to join them

and you remember with a smile
all of them
seals eagles ravens mermaids
but me
you have forgotten

since you said
with a shrug
I’m going
somewhere anywhere

Click here to hear the poet read his words:
https://ceayr.com/2022/10/16/somewhere-anywhere/

a life in the day

artwork by phil burns

a life in the day

this morning
the sun shone
and it was hot and lasted forever
because I had so much to do
running learning and laughing

this afternoon
there was a mix
of blue sky and clouds
and the time flew by
because I had so much to do
working wedding and children

this evening
the sky is overcast
with cold winds and some rain
and time drags
because I have nothing to do
and no one to do it with

but I remember this morning
and I remember you

Click here to hear the poet read his words:
https://ceayr.com/2022/10/09/a-life-in-the-day/

if

copyright c e ayr

if


if
you were to walk the broad beaches
between the rivers Ayr and Doon
and farther to Greenan Castle
gazing across the broad firth
of the historic Clyde
towards the the Isle of Arran
where the Sleeping Warrior
slumbers forever
in the rugged peaks
and see before you
not a single drop of water

or
you were to scan with anxious eyes
the cloudless night sky
dark as the heart of Mordor
and see no glimmer of light
no trace of a friendly moon
no hint of the eternal stars
nothing but black

or
you were to wander country lanes
through Ayrshire’s rolling hills
and watch as vast herds of cattle
famous for their dairy
search forlornly over the barren earth
for a blade of rich green grass
and slowly starve

or
you were to open a book of poetry
the works of Scotland’s Bard
Robert Burns
to read again Tam O’Shanter
and My Love is Like a Red Red Rose
to find each page a virgin white
with no mention of Ye Banks and Braes
or Auld Lang Syne
no romance no humanity no witches or warlocks
no words


then
you might understand
my love
the emptiness of my life
without you


Click here to hear the poet read his words:
https://ceayr.com/2022/10/02/if/

in dreams

artwork by phil burns

in dreams

you’re mine…

when you smile
rain clouds flee in dark shame
to stumble in tears
over distant oceans

when you touch my skin
my heart swells
with the valour of centuries
of Pictish – or painted – warriors
who inhabit my blood

when you breathe on my eyes
I hear the tell-tale rattle
of ancient dust
escaping the tide of eternity

when you are
so am I

… in beautiful dreams

Click here to hear the poet read his words:
https://ceayr.com/2022/09/25/in-dreams/

silent smile

artwork by phil burns

silent smile


you danced
and drifted into my life
like a ghost with a silent smile
graceful and slightly amused

you laughed at the obvious turmoil
you created in my heart
and elsewhere

you asked me to make a love song
so I wrote this one for you
you gently mocked me
that the lyrics
of my love song didn’t rhyme
I said hey give me time

then
like a ghost with a silent smile
graceful and slightly amused
you danced
and drifted out of my life



Click here to hear the poet read his words:
https://ceayr.com/2022/09/18/silent-smile/

vision

artwork by carolina sartor

vision

more and more often
as the years stumble past
I catch a glimpse
of a flicker
of a shadow
just outwith the range
of my vision

is it a memory
made real
of someone long gone
whom once I loved
and still do
telling me
that I too
am not forgotten

or is it merely
further evidence
of a decaying body
and fading eyes
that means the world
becomes day by day
more hazy

my belief is as always
stronger on the side of magic and mystery
and less inclined to the dull but reasonable explanation
and as a Scot
whose culture and history and literature
are steeped in restless ghosts
and some say mythical monsters
I prefer to embrace my otherworldly visitors
to thank them for their time
and to look forward to
our next meeting
wherever it takes place



Click here to hear the poet read his words:
https://ceayr.com/2022/09/11/vision/

Scotland in November

copyright c e ayr

Scotland in November

looking back
it seems quite obvious
we were doomed
before we started

so very far apart
culturally and
geographically

but we had so much
together
laughter
and passion
and all that love

so many great times
and those special moments
I’ll always remember

but the passion faded
and the laughter died
and the love
just wasn’t enough
to cross the distances
or hide the differences

deep down
it still lingers
and sometimes
briefly flickers
but nothing can hide
the harsh truth

you were July
on the Côte d’Azur
and I was
Scotland in November

Click here to hear the poet read his words:
https://ceayr.com/2022/07/03/scotland-in-november/

I wrote a poem

copyright c e ayr*

I wrote a poem

I read a poem yesterday
it nearly broke my heart
it spoke of lovers loved and lost
they lived too far apart

I read a poem yesterday
it said she won’t live forever
but she makes the world a better place
please don’t let me outlive her

I read a poem yesterday
it made me think of you
when the colour of my world was gold
before you turned it sad soft blue

I read a poem yesterday
it told me what I’ve got to give
all the splintered thoughts I’ve yet to think
and those dead years I’ve yet to live

I wrote a poem yesterday
it tells of our first kiss
and the wondrous time we spent together
and how it ended just like this

* from the Robert Burns Birthplace Museum, Alloway, Scotland


Click here to hear the poet read his words:
https://ceayr.com/2022/06/26/i-wrote-a-poem/

bouchon

artwork by phil burns

bouchon

I’m standing at a bus stop
twenty minutes from home
the reasons don’t matter
no sign of scheduled service
already long overdue
the traffic is nose to nose
mile after mile
barely moving
nothing happening
other than tempers rising
like the temperature
because mid-June at La Foux
near St Tropez
is blindingly hot

then overhead
I see the swallows
in uncountable numbers
swooping and swirling
dancing and diving
in playful pairs
and incredibly uncoordinated
but never conflicting groups

when I think that
we consider ourselves
the most advanced species
the highest level of intelligence
on planet Earth
I laugh in pure delight
at our absurd arrogance and stupidity