The Candle – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant help plagiarising Bob Dylan
Better jump down a manhole
Light yourself a candle
Don’t wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don’t wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don’t work
’Cause the vandals took the handles

Sorry, Bobby.
Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Presented weekly by Rochelle’s latest flame, please follow this link for some shining stories by her flickering fictioneers.
But first pause to read some waxy words from AnElephant.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright Renee Heath

Copyright Renee Heath

The Candle

The candle’s flame still provides enough light to see, although it is nearing the end.
They smile at each other.
Your father will never catch us now.
If he did, he would kill us!
They both laugh.
They are together.
They have escaped at last.
They are confident that they cannot be followed.
And they are no longer afraid of the consequences.
They put their arms around each other and gaze into the eyes they adore.
Goodnight, my love.
Goodnight, my love.
The candle splutters and goes out.
They can no longer see the empty phial beside their empty glasses.

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, Friday Fictioneer and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to The Candle – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Adam Ickes says:

    Plot twist: one of them is immune to the poison and must go on without the other. Or they both die… either way it was a good story, sir Elephant.


  2. Nan Falkner says:

    Good evening AnElephantCant, Good story, such a sad ending. You would think after all the advertising of “Romeo and Juliet” that people would realize the poison thing doesn’t really work very well. The Father won.


  3. I should probably just write: Ditto. I had the same anticipation as so many others, and the same “oh no!” moment at the end! AnElephant surely knows how to break some hearts.


  4. Horus says:

    better than getting killed by father?


  5. elappleby says:

    Fab twist at the end. And I loved the Bob Dylan intro too 🙂


  6. Judah First says:

    Yes, I have to admit I was dissatisfied that they didn’t truly escape the cruel father. Death is no answer. 😦 Well-written none-the-less (just because I don’t like how a story ends doesn’t mean it isn’t a good story)!


  7. I would like to bang their heads together, shake them and take them to hospital – not necessarily in that order!
    Well told


  8. Ankita says:

    Aah! Dear Elephant(you)cant do this to lovers! 😦


  9. Dear Elephant,

    I find it sad that they felt their only way out was suicide. Father must be some ogre to elicit such a tragic end. Well done.




  10. Jan Brown says:

    Oh, dear. True love dies, and Father wins after all. Drat!


  11. If he did, he would kill us! No need now, I suppose. Nice (?) surprise in the end.


  12. misskzebra says:

    Makes the forbidden romances of my teenage years look pitiful.


  13. Not much point in the father (either father) catching them and killing them since they seem to be doing the job themselves. I always wanted to shake Romeo and Juliet really hard, before they killed themselves. 🙂 But I cried at the movie “back in the day.”



  14. Gyslaine L. says:

    I like a lot this story 🙂


  15. elmowrites says:

    Beautiful, Elephant, you left us a trail of clues but kept the solution until the end. A sad story, but sort of a happy one too. Great stuff – my favourite from you, I think


  16. Elephant, They must have been afraid of very dire consequences if and when they were caught to end it that way. Really sad. 😦 Well written. 🙂



  17. Ah, a sad story. I like all the clues you put in there, but didn’t reveal their true action until the end.


  18. wmqcolby says:

    Romeo and Juliet would have been proud. Fine work, Elephant!


  19. Dee says:

    I was hoping for a happy ending not just an ending Elephant.
    I had followed their flight, their confidence with sweet anticipation of a happy ever after. As Bjorn says just an ever after…no happy


  20. so there was just an ever after in this… no happy.


  21. Hehehe. Oh dear! 😯


Go on, say something, even if it's rude!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.