St Andra’s Fault

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AnElephantCant tell you too much
About St Andrew who is Scotland’s Patron Saint
According to tittle tattle
He won us a battle
So we seem to have no cause for complaint

Now Andy is quite a busy chappie
He is also the main man for Barbados
He does Ukraine and Russia
And formerly Prussia
But still found time to help us bash some invaders

30th November is his day to remember
But we don’t really celebrate it
We don’t get a day off
Unless we fake a wee cough
In this weather a holiday’s not highly rated

In California if you speak of Saint Andrew
You may face a serious assault
We may do folk a disservice
But it seems they are nervous
Because in Spanish he is honest to a Fault

He is depicted as being an old dude
With white hair that is long and untidy
If he were a Scot
Though we’re quite sure he’s not
He’d need to comb it at least every third Friday

It seems he was Peter’s wee brother
They made their living in a boat doing fishing
He was the first disciple
So quite archetypal
He was considered a man on a mission

Our flag is known here as The Saltire
A white ‘x’ on a sea of sky blue
Denoting his crucifixion
This may in fact be fiction
AnElephant leaves that decision to you

There is a town here that is named after oor Andra
Which is famous for the golfing of course
It is quite a tough life
On the east coast of Fife
Because the winds are quite often gale force

The university is also quite well known
Founded 600 years ago in 1410
It was only the third
After Cambridge and Oxford
In the English-speaking world way back then

So today we say well done to Big Drookit*
As we Scots refer to folk with that name
Although he has done hee-haw
To help at the fitba’
It’s an awfy long time since we last won a game

*Drookit – soaking wet, drenched – An-drew – droo-kit
Fitba’ – soccer

And below is Scotland’s other Andy, winner of 2 Grand Slams, an Olympic Gold Medal, and the Davis Cup.

Andy Murray by Phil Burns