AnElephantCant work without broadband
It has been up and down all this week
So he speaks to monsieur
Who says bien sur
I will be sure to give it a wee tweak
Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time, with our erudite host la magnifique Rochelle.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it, really.
You can follow the link and read lots of of really good stories by really good writers.
And AnElephant’s.
Thieves of a feather
Kenny was the toughest kid in any group, and Brain the smartest.
They grew up together in Glasgow’s East End, stuck together, fought together, and stole together.
But never from their own kind, only from the rich, and the gangsters.
They were unbeatable, uncatchable, indestructible as a pair, until Brain was found with a knife in his back.
Kenny left for the Costa del Sol soon afterwards.
He was rich, but he was vulnerable without Brain.
All too soon he was robbed and beaten to death in miserable circumstances.
How he could have afforded that huge villa remained a mystery.
Awesome post, I especially missed reading your work 🙂
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Hmm this reminds me of a saying along the lines of ‘when thieves fall out, honest men come into their own’
Well done elephant
Dee
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I’m left wondering if Kenny stabbed Brain in the back literally as well as metaphorically. And they started out such mates!
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Very well written and insightful! And of course cleverly done! xo
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Thank you, Penny.
A tale of intrigue and betrayal, and a lesson to all.
Hugs
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Such a tidy tale when one takes the time to read it! Bien fait dans un minimalisme effarant! Bravo comme d’hab.
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Merci.
Thanks for taking the time.
And for the nice words.
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Now here’s a mystery.
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It seems Kenny got an offer he couldn’t refuse and was too greedy or stupid to refuse it.
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That was rough… wonder if Brain would have made it better alone than Kenny…
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The point may be that he would not have betrayed his partner.
And when you remove the Brain, death is inevitable.
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Dear AEC,
This story started out strong and then, in the way of the partnership and perhaps because of it, came to a sad end. I enjoyed the story, just didn’t want it to end that way.
Aloha,
Doug
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Sadly, all too often, life stories do end that way.
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He was served a crude justice in the end–how fitting!
Just one criticism: you say they never robbed their own kind, only rich men and gangsters. That implies that Kenny and Brain don’t consider themselves gangsters…why not?
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Because they see themselves as men of the people.
Thanks for dropping in and taking the time to question.
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Karma can be deadly. Very good story. Crime just don’t pay, well it does, but…..oh never mind. ha! I liked it a lot. 🙂
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Thanks, Jackie!
Glad you liked it, even if you did get a wee bit confused there!
Hugs
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Well I at first thought that crime might just pay. Then I changed my mind. 😉
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AnElephantCant let crime pay.
His other reader may be tempted!
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When the Yin lost the Yang he was too vulnerable.
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Yep, dumb move, Joe.
Greed and arrogance can be a fatal combination.
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geez, can’t trust anyone these days!
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Except for AnElephant, of course!
Lovely to see you here again, Carrie.
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A mystery to everybody but him, I suspect! Fun story, AE! 🙂
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Well spotted, Freya, karma came and bit his bum.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
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You packed in so much here, it feels like a story far longer than flash fiction. I admit that I didn’t catch that Kenny stabbed Brain after I read the story — I discovered this in another reader’s comments. Justice was done in the end, but what a gruesome way to go.
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Karma is, as they say, a lady dog.
Perhaps the ending was not sufficiently clear, but you know that Rochelle!!!!
Thank you for visiting and for your kind comments.
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Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Echo | The Blurred Line
Dear Elephant,
Obviously Brian and Kenny were much better together than apart. It sounds like neither of them were all that honest. Pity sounds like they had a good thing going until greed got in the way. Okay. I’ll stop rambling now and tell you I enjoyed your story.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Glad you enjoyed the story, Rochelle.
It seems Kenny thought he could go it alone if he took the 30 pieces.
But …..
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What does cobber mean, Elephant?
Not all your commenters are kind, are they? Sigh, an elephant needs a thick hide, doesn’t he? I hope you have one. Writers definitely need one. People forget how hard writers work, and that we bleed red same as everyone. Perhaps they think we bleed ink.
Meanwhile, I am here to share the love, come visit and collect a well-deserved prize:
http://friendlyfairytales.com/2013/08/28/my-cup-runneth-over/
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Cobber is an Australian word for mate, Sheila!
Sheila is an Australian word for burd.
Burd is a Scottish word for young lady.
AnElephant’s commenters are as kind as can be expected on a blog of such varied drivel.
Not all are as erudite as your sweet self.
Your prize is more than AnElephant deserves, but he already visits and thanks you for it.
Hugs
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G’Day, then cobber, thanks for explaining to this thick American. Sheila I had heard. I’ve just seen some good writers stop because people were critical. It’s a shame. Elephant, keep raising your voice! 🙂
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No worries, chick!
AnElephant is a repulsive – sorry, compulsive – writer, who is happy when people enjoy his strange words but sometimes wonders about the apparent need of some to be over-critical. It has never distressed him, he simply frets briefly about their state of mind. And thank you for caring enough to offer kind words of support. Hugs
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You are hilarious, Elephant. I won’t worry about your state of mind anymore. 🙂 Hugs
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Obviously Kenny forgot to make sure that knife wound was fatal.
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If you destroy your own defences ……
Thanks for visiting Dawn, lovely to see you again.
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The photo is from Union Station in DC, no?
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AnElephant has no idea!
He merely works from the prompt:
Copyright – Dawn M. Miller
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The answer to the question is yes. Union Station DC
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Ahh, and I do wonder about the name Brain, normally it would be Brian, but as he was the brains of the group, I go along with it…
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Nicknames are commonplace in this part of the world.
Delighted you bought into it.
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Perhaps he got what he deserved after stabbing Brain in the back?!
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Well spotted, my sweet lady.
Once again you have nailed it!
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The have and have-nots seesaw wildly, and yet so few words. Masterful!
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Thank you, Brenda, you are always so kind and so perceptive.
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My pleasure, Elephant, keep writing!
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Greed got the better of him … and caused his demise
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Spot on, Al!
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🙂
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I suppose it was comeuppance – but I liked your rhyme better than your story. Hope that’s not too rude! 🙂
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AnElephant is devastated!
Perhaps the nuance of the last sentence is inadequate.
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My goodness Sir elephant, that’s all a bit grim. Poor Kenny, an honest thief meets a gruesome death. All matter of fact wasn’t it. Though you did engage me before the demise of the likeable Kenny.
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All matter of fact until you re-read the last line, cobber!
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