AnElephantCant calculate 15%
Which is the guideline for a waiter’s gratuity
But he looks on the bright sight
Never errs on the tight side
Realises he has material for a brilliant new ditty
In Scotland we rarely tip bar staff
It is just not the way that we function
We may buy them a drink
So that’s fair you might think
But we often leave nothing without any compunction
This is a significant difference in culture
And not to do with our legendary meanness
We don’t give them 10 bob
Just for doing their job
Even if they perform with sweet smiles and great keenness
But when we buy food it’s a whole different story
We then tip according to service
Up to 20 per cent
But open to dissent
Because we need to be convinced they deserve us
In the US the percentage is awkward
Though AnElephant is a university taught toff
So 10 per cent is a laugh
Then you divide it in half
And add that to the first number you thought of
The staff of course calculate like computers
Their impatience indicates it’s not funny
AnElephant uses his nose
To count on his toes
He is concerned about squandering his money
The solution you may feel is quite obvious
AnElephant just feels like a klutz
Without any doubt
He should stop eating out
And stay home with a big bag of peanuts
anelephantcant 
In America waiters are not paid a minimum wage
Which is $5.15 an hour in Georgia,
8.00 in California,
and undetermined in Louisiana.
So to keep themselves in forage,
Waiters look for a good tipper,
which keeps them chipper.
In Florida,$3 is a waitress’ base pay.
That is mean, wouldn’t you say?
Since this is the way in America,
AnElephant is kind and right
not to err on the tight side.
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AnElephantCant fix the economy
Of a country that is bigger than a really big thing
So what can he say
He goes on his way
And leaves his wee tip there – cha-ching!
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🙂
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Meme just opened up a new cafe
Where it is she will not say
A dishwasher she’s in need
AnElephantCant she will feed
But no peanuts just Texas hay
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AnElephantCant find Meme’s cafe
But he hasn’t gone looking for you
He eats her alfalfa
Till he falls down with laughter
And then he goes home to his zoo
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What a bladdy quandary
but now we all can see
that tipping is all at sea
life now nothing is free
a person who is waiting
or one into drinks making
those that style your hair
car washing with fair care
beauty we get from a spa
all the services today are
doing a fully paid for job
want tips from your last bob
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AnElephantCant always understand
The philosophy behind the ubiquitous tip
But probably they’re earned
So he ain’t concerned
It sure won’t disrupt his great trip
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Anelephantcan’t be less confused than many of us here in the USA. Congratulations, I think your way is the smart way to go, whether tipping or eating peanuts! 🙂
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AnElephantCant eat too many peanuts
And gallons of orange juice are drunk
But please watch your eyes
Cos the biggest surprise
Is the straw that he fires from his trunk
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I’ll be sure and duck next time! 🙂
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I love the way that AnElephant works out the 15%
He definitely doesn’t seem like a Scot
Who are supposed to be rude
Very tight and extremely crude
Which means the stories are mostly just rot
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AnElephantCant believe Alastair
Thinks that Scots are rude crude and coarse
This land we adore
Has only one flaw
And that is our Southern neighbours
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I apologise if I made you think that, it was not my intent to insult
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AnElephantCant help feeling bad here
His friend Alastair is good folk
AnElephant erred
With his comic word
He did mean his response as a joke
Sorry, we just love to poke fun at the Sassenach!
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I see … oops … sorry.
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